Lemme ‘splain.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (Thanks, Inigo Montoya)

The last month has been filled with a series of sort of fine, not really very exciting dates. There was the guy who had a Master’s degree and worked retail. There was the guy who worked weird hours for the cable company. There was the guy who was nice. So nice. But no sparks. There was a cup of coffee or two with one-timers. That’s what’s been going on since I left you.

The 32 Most Iconic Eye Rolls Of All Time

I think the problem is that nobody has really been able to make me laugh. I, of course, am charming and funny and witty and smart. And so I have been adding to my list of (not at all unreasonable) requirements.

  • He must have a job. And I guess I really mean that at this point. I would have at one time said have a job or be in school. No more. Job. That pays real American dollars.
  • He must have a car. I hate myself a little for saying it. He doesn’t have to drive it much, just have it available for weekend road trips and the like. I just went out with someone who doesn’t have one, and only then did I realize it was important to me.
  • Related to the above: willing to buy me a glass of wine. Or even, gasp, dinner, on occasion.
  • Must have a sense of humor. That means he not only laughs at my jokes, but is also funny. And charming and witty and smart.

I do not feel as if this is too much to ask. The fairy tale is on the other side of the ocean, so it’s back to the drawing board here in the real world.


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